After reading this this afternoon, I visited my portal and performed some spontaneous ritual, loosely with what you wrote about here in mind.
Toward the end of the ritual, I decided to draw a couple of Tarot cards. Result: 9 of disks “gain” and Knight of Cups.
After this, I closed the portal ritual and climbed up a hill to watch the sun setting. Two different flocks of different species of birds flew by, each with nine members. I’m taking that as a reinforcement of the Tarot drawing
Initial interpretation: since Knights occupy the “2” spot on the tree of life and Chokmah relates to wisdom, and since cups resonate with water and emotion: the cards may be indicating I have growth available in sitting with sadness without rushing to block it out
Why sadness? Just because that’s something I’ve been sitting with over the weekend.
Perhaps something else will present itself to shift this way of interpreting but I thought I’d share this since my experience is partly inspired by this post
After a liminal encounter with and an induction into the Teratogenic Mystique, elements of the monstrous that were latent in my experience kind of burst forth. Unsettling, destabilizing but ultimately, nutritious.
Much of the digestive capacity that afforded drawing nutrition from encountering the monstrous rather than being over-run or overwhelmed by it/them came from reading and re-reading the above 'Oculus Apex Temporalis'...
... to intimate toward the content of the personal experience... I transposed elements of the serious playground that I intuited as being cultivated 'here' onto my participation at a trance party happening near by... in part this meant a kind of imitation of the 'trance-parent induction' "method" in the medium of a written pre-event poetic dispatch ( https://holeycow.substack.com/p/guardians-of-a-gaian-dream ) . Admittedly, much of the induction was not transparent to myself upon writing... i was fucking around with a cacophony of salience and a-causal resonance, and i found out in equal measure. The piece was dispatched to friends who were to be in attendance. It made my girlfriend cry, but at least one new friend reported back to me on the role the piece played in accelerating meaningful synchronous encounter at the event. Here's to it having been generative as well!
As is often the case it was I that the attempt at co-creative participation served to most thoroughly fuck with... I was semi-willfully launched into a extended altered state which afforded courting and being courted by a kind of transjective-dream-time-entity that was collectively summoned by the trance-dancing-gaian-dream-guardians who willed the party onward through extreme weather conditions ( the ecological functions of worship say what? ). ( i am grateful to be able to express so ridiculously here!)
I watched real time as i was dunked and submerged into parasitic processes, as the multifarious configurations of the Big Other and the many eyes of others penetrated my self-identity and influenced my behavior... as i became punished by unbalanced group-mediated super-egoic functions and became complicit in their punitive membranics..
Reading and Re-reading Oculus Apex Temporalis meant that this extended event, with sharp and overwhelming resonances in my immediate experience for more than a month after the peak-encounter, has been mostly assimilated, digested, and included... the result, my sacralizing and consecrating modes exhibit stronger immunity against anti-developmental super-egoic mediation... I can discern more clearly my own tendencies in terms of 'falling' in the consecrating act and have a clearer understanding of where and how the social recaptures the sacred... all in all making me more free, slightly less deluded and ready to play on.
After reading this this afternoon, I visited my portal and performed some spontaneous ritual, loosely with what you wrote about here in mind.
Toward the end of the ritual, I decided to draw a couple of Tarot cards. Result: 9 of disks “gain” and Knight of Cups.
After this, I closed the portal ritual and climbed up a hill to watch the sun setting. Two different flocks of different species of birds flew by, each with nine members. I’m taking that as a reinforcement of the Tarot drawing
Initial interpretation: since Knights occupy the “2” spot on the tree of life and Chokmah relates to wisdom, and since cups resonate with water and emotion: the cards may be indicating I have growth available in sitting with sadness without rushing to block it out
Why sadness? Just because that’s something I’ve been sitting with over the weekend.
Perhaps something else will present itself to shift this way of interpreting but I thought I’d share this since my experience is partly inspired by this post
Bam!
After a liminal encounter with and an induction into the Teratogenic Mystique, elements of the monstrous that were latent in my experience kind of burst forth. Unsettling, destabilizing but ultimately, nutritious.
Much of the digestive capacity that afforded drawing nutrition from encountering the monstrous rather than being over-run or overwhelmed by it/them came from reading and re-reading the above 'Oculus Apex Temporalis'...
... to intimate toward the content of the personal experience... I transposed elements of the serious playground that I intuited as being cultivated 'here' onto my participation at a trance party happening near by... in part this meant a kind of imitation of the 'trance-parent induction' "method" in the medium of a written pre-event poetic dispatch ( https://holeycow.substack.com/p/guardians-of-a-gaian-dream ) . Admittedly, much of the induction was not transparent to myself upon writing... i was fucking around with a cacophony of salience and a-causal resonance, and i found out in equal measure. The piece was dispatched to friends who were to be in attendance. It made my girlfriend cry, but at least one new friend reported back to me on the role the piece played in accelerating meaningful synchronous encounter at the event. Here's to it having been generative as well!
As is often the case it was I that the attempt at co-creative participation served to most thoroughly fuck with... I was semi-willfully launched into a extended altered state which afforded courting and being courted by a kind of transjective-dream-time-entity that was collectively summoned by the trance-dancing-gaian-dream-guardians who willed the party onward through extreme weather conditions ( the ecological functions of worship say what? ). ( i am grateful to be able to express so ridiculously here!)
I watched real time as i was dunked and submerged into parasitic processes, as the multifarious configurations of the Big Other and the many eyes of others penetrated my self-identity and influenced my behavior... as i became punished by unbalanced group-mediated super-egoic functions and became complicit in their punitive membranics..
Reading and Re-reading Oculus Apex Temporalis meant that this extended event, with sharp and overwhelming resonances in my immediate experience for more than a month after the peak-encounter, has been mostly assimilated, digested, and included... the result, my sacralizing and consecrating modes exhibit stronger immunity against anti-developmental super-egoic mediation... I can discern more clearly my own tendencies in terms of 'falling' in the consecrating act and have a clearer understanding of where and how the social recaptures the sacred... all in all making me more free, slightly less deluded and ready to play on.
(Written by a baboon)